Can What is Lost be Found?
by Jera
Summary: After a conference breaks down, Obi-Wan is taken captive. Can Qui-Gon find him in time?
1. Part I: Seeking

Disclaimers: I'm not making money off this and I don't own any of the characters, Star Wars and the characters therein belong to George Lucas and co. If you want to sue, good luck, I have no permanent home, no permanent postal address and no money. Setting: pre: The Phantom Menace Author's notes: This is rather angsty and dark, hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think, constructive criticism is especially appreciated. There will be three chapters in total. * * indicates thoughts  
  
Can what is lost be found?  
  
Jera (jera_cuk@yahoo.co.uk)  
  
Part One: Seeking  
  
Obi-Wan groaned as a fresh wave of pain hit him. He had no idea how long he had been unconscious for this time, but the pain seemed to pass more quickly than before. He did not think they had come for him for quite a while. He pressed his cheek on the rough floor he was lying on and then, slowly, eased himself up into a sitting position against one of the stone walls.  
  
He did not know how long he had been in this place, though he thought it to be no more than a lunar cycle it felt more like forever. The time before this place seemed to be slipping from his memory, as if his brain could not accept that he knew of a time without pain.  
  
He forced himself to remember how he had arrived here, in this rough and miserable cell, bound so he could barely move. He and his master had been on Talok III, negotiating a peace treaty between the Gagh and the Yanorans. They had been there for several weeks and had thought the talks were progressing well. But it had all been a sham, the Gagh had been using the negotiations to lure high-ranking Yanorans into one place, which they had then blown up, killing many of their own people too.  
  
But he wondered now if that had been their only aim. The request for Jedi as mediators, for Qui-Gon Jinn in particular had come from both parties but that would have been easily done. What did the Gagh want with Jedi? Was his Master In this place too?  
  
They had both been caught inside, trying to help others, when the building collapsed. The last thing he remembered was being hit by a piece of falling ceiling. Then he had woken up here, at first he had not even known who was holding him but he had come to recognise the subtle accents that pointed out his captors' origins.. He was cut off from the Force by the thing they had put in his head and he had a blindfold which had proved impossible to remove. He did not even know if his Master was alive. He was alone, totally alone.  
  
At first they had interrogated him, demanding answers he did not know. They had tortured him then, first he had been beaten with bats and rope, hung from ceilings until he thought his arms would be torn from his body. Starvation and drugs came next. They had injected chemical concoctions into him but still were unsatisfied with his answers, though by this point Obi-Wan could barely understand the questions. They had shorn his hair and taken his precious Padawan braid. They had fried his nerves, or worked on a single piece of his body until he thought he would welcome death. He had lost consciousness so many times.  
  
That had become almost a pleasure, sleep in such pain was impossible, it was only when unconscious that the pain went. They had not come for a while. He did not know how long, but now he could hear them coming again. He could make out four sets of footsteps, heavy and loud, coming for him. What would they do to him now?  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
In his quarters on Coruscant Qui-Gon Jinn paced. His emotions were in turmoil, fear, anger, every emotion he should let go, seethed in him. His Padawan had been missing for three weeks and he was stuck here, unable to do anything. After the collapse of the building on Talok III Qui-Gon had woken up in a medical facility, but there had been no trace of Obi-Wan. He, himself, had been seriously injured but his Padawan had not been found.  
  
In fact the Healers had been unwilling to release him from the Medical Wing at all, saying he still needed rest. He managed to persuade them that he could rest as well in his quarters, although if he was honest with himself his persuasion had been nearer a threat. And now here he was, pacing up and down, desperately trying to seek his Padawan mentally, since he was unable to do so physically.  
  
Qui-Gon refused to think of the possibility that Obi-Wan could be dead * I would have known * he thought miserably, yet he could not find Obi-Wan in the Force. He was sure either the Gagh or the Yanorans were holding his apprentice, yet the Council had refused to allow him to search for him. They said he had only been out of the care of the healers for a week, and that they were searching, but Qui-Gon had never felt so helpless in his life.  
  
Suddenly his doorbell chimed. He hurried to the door, hoping it would be someone with news and not another Healer. He was in luck, Mace Windu stood outside the door, his face grave.  
  
"You've found something?" Qui-Gon demanded, dispensing with all pleasantries as he let his old friend into the apartment.  
  
"We have a lead, though it's tenuous", Mace confirmed, knowing his friend needed to hear that first. "Come, Qui-Gon, sit down, so I can tell you. Unless you want to make yourself ill enough that you can't come along?" He said dryly as he watched his friend continue to pace.  
  
The remark got him a glare, no matter how 'ill' Qui-Gon was he would not be missing out on a rescue mission, but he sat down on the couch anyway. "What news, tell me, Mace", he requested, when Windu did not speak immediately.  
  
"An old contact of mine on Canara got in touch today. He has overheard Gagh talking about Jedi. He thought little of it at first but last week he heard something more concrete. A Gagh was boasting of their 'success' at the conference with the Yanorans"  
  
"Which means it was the Gagh who blew us all up", Qui-Gon exclaimed. "They killed their own people as well".  
  
"They did. Underlings and servants only though, the upper ranks knew to clear the hall", Mace said, disgust evident in his voice. "But it was what my friend overheard two-day ago that is most important. He believes they are holding a captive from the conference in a disused military complex on Canara's western continent".  
  
"Obi-Wan", Qui-Gon breathed, almost not daring to believe as he was given his first hope in days.  
  
"He is the only one still unaccounted for", Mace said gravely. "But as I said", he continued before Qui-Gon's hopes would rise too far, "this is tenuous information at best. My friend is currently trying to pinpoint a more precise location, and the Council is currently considering..."  
  
"Considering? What is there to consider?" Qui-Gon interrupted him angrily.  
  
"Peace, Qui-Gon", Mace reached out, knowing that he must stay calm for his friend's sake. Mace had grown fond of the young Jedi himself, as he had seen his old fiend slowly open up and let the young man into his affections. "You know that Canara is a Rim World, the Republic has no authority there. And the Gagh have a stranglehold on the planet, controlling who enters and exits. So the Council is considering what is the best format for a rescue team".  
  
"I am sorry, Mace", Qui-Gon said softly, as he struggled for calm. "My temper is getting the better of me right now. Go on".  
  
"The Council thought that two Jedi would have the best chance of success, of being able to slip on and off the planet unseen and conduct a rescue. Naturally I'm going as it is my contact and they were wondering if you were well enough to come, after you departed from the Healers' care so... abruptly?"  
  
Qui-Gon nodded, recognising the reproof but choosing to ignore it for now. He had more important things to consider, "When do we leave?"  
  
"Tonight, a ship is being readied now", Mace answered. "Come one, I'll help you pack. We have an apprentice to find".  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Obi-Wan stayed still as the four guards entered his cell. He recognised their voices, as being those of his regular tormentors but tonight their voices appeared slurred and Obi-Wan could smell the alcohol they had drunk. The fear inside Obi-Wan began to rise as they laughed at him.  
  
Finally one of them spoke, "Well, Jedi brat, I guess you thought you'd been forgotten about, didn't you? A few decisions have been made y'see. You ain't got the info we was after, brat, the higher-ups ain't pleased as they have to go and find another of you Jedi scum but they don't care no more what we do with you. Yous ours now, no more questions are gonna be asked and we'se gonna take care of you."  
  
Their laughter at these words chilled Obi-Wan to the bone, but still a spark of hope lit within him. His tormentor's words had given him hope. His Master was not held here, he was free, he was safe. He would find Obi- Wan, he was sure of it, he just had to hold on. Obi-Wan sank as deep within himself as he could, hiding his consciousness deep inside himself, away from the whatever torment was about to be inflicted on his physical self. He had to hold on...  
  
Within minutes of their arrival they had stripped Obi-Wan's ragged clothing off him and forced him onto his hand and knees. The movements sent new waves of pain through his body but it was his mind that screamed the most. He could not believe this was happening * Master, where are you * his mind called out but as the first hands began to touch and probe him his hope sank. His master was not coming for him. His memories of freedom sank out of sight and he was trapped in the present.  
  
The next hours were worse than anything that had come before. Hands tore at his ragged clothing and as new pain hit him he bit his lip, unable to call on the Force to aid him but still refusing to allow these creatures to see him afraid. He would not let them win. He tried to let his mind wonder away as he felt hands roam over him. He tried to see his Master's face but the image would not stay, he was trapped, forced to experience everything.  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Qui-Gon sighed as he stood in the cockpit of the transport that was taking himself and Mace Windu towards Canara. Qui-Gon had heard rumours of how the Gagh usually treated their prisoners and could not release the icy ball of fear, which had lodged in his heart. He knew it had only been pure chance that had kept the Gagh from taking him captive as well, the Yanorans had simply found him first, in sufficient number that the Gagh could not deal with them, but this did nothing to aid his fears for Obi-Wan.  
  
They would have to spend two more days in hyperspace before they reached Canara and the time was wearing hard on Qui-Gon. He concentrated on his feelings and tried to release his fear, but he found it impossible. After Xanatos he had not thought he would care as much about another being again, but he did about Obi-Wan.  
  
"Try and calm down, my friend", the voice that broke into his thoughts was Mace Windu's. "Worrying isn't going to get us their any faster."  
  
"I know," Qui-Gon sighed, "but he has been missing for over three weeks. Anything could have happened to him."  
  
"We will find him, Qui-Gon. We will."  
  
"We don't even know why he was taken, Mace. What did the Gagh want with a Jedi?"  
  
"I don't know, Qui-Gon, but I intend to find out. And I intend to make sure that the Gagh fully realise their error in hurting one of our own", Mace said harshly.  
  
Qui-Gon nodded at this, fully agreeing with this sentiment and turned to look out of the cockpit once again.  
  
*-*-*-*-*  
  
Obi-Wan lay, curled in a ball, in the corner of his cell. His mind had closed off any memories except those of the past nights. He felt as if he had always been here and that he would always be here. His mind wandered, trying to recall the times when he had been free, when he had been safe, but they were faint and distant, they fled as he clutched at them. Faces, voices, scents, all were fading. Obi-Wan would have welcomed death with open arms now.  
  
tbc  
  
please let me know what you think, part two will be coming soon! 


	2. Part II: Finding

for disclaimers see part one

**Part Two: Finding**

Canara was an arid and dry planet.  Only two main continents, but both of those were huge and covered at least three-quarters of the planet.  Temperatures were hot as the planet orbited fairly close to its single sun.  Their Corellian transport ship had been granted permission to land on the western continent, its Jedi passengers hidden in the manifests as traders from Tatooine.

It was dark when Qui-Gon and Mace began their search.  First they went to find Mace's contact, a human who owned a bar in Rekick, one of the larger cities on the continent, where they had landed.  The bar was in the seedier part of the city but it was clean and the man ran it well.  His name was Punja, Mace said as he introduced the two and quickly they were taken into the back of the bar, to a small, private room where they could converse safely.

"I've only managed to find out a little more", Punja admitted.  "It's dangerous asking questions round here but I think I know where they've got the captive held.  He pulled out a map of the continent, from a hidden recess in one of the walls.  "This place isn't marked on any of the maps the computers will show you", he warned as he spread the plastic across the table.  "This is an old map a contact gave me once.  

See here", at this point he gestured to a town that was some distance west of Rekick.  "This place is called Benin.  Nasty place, even the authorities don't go there no more.  But what really interests you is this", his finger moved to a dark spot a little north of Benin, which the Jedi had at first mistaken simply for a stain.

"This here's a Gagh military complex.  It's kept secret, I doubt even many in Benin knows what it really is, they think it's another smugglers' hideout, but I found out the truth a while back, it's military for sure.  One of the drunken soldiers who came into my bar mentioned Benin and a secret place so if this person they've got is anywhere he'll be there".

"Thank you, Punja, you've done well", Mace said as the two Jedi examined the map closely.  Tomorrow we need to get hold of a speederand then we can set out to Benin", Mace added to Qui-Gon.

"You can spend the night here", Punja offered.  "I know one of the dealers and I'll make sure he gives you a fair price.  I'm warning you though, Benin's a nasty place and I don't see how just the two of you are going to be any good, Jedi or no".

"Two of us will be enough", Mace told Punja seriously.  "You needn't worry about losing your income from me, I have no intention of dying here".

"Good, you pay fair wages", Punja laughed as they shared the black humour.

Qui-Gon said nothing as he stared at the little dark spot on the worn map, trying desperately to reach his Padawan, but he could not.

*-*-*-*-*

Obi-Wan lay unmoving but his mind was struggling fiercely.  * He would hold on, he would** *** he repeated the refrain in his mind over and over, unable to say any longer who or what he was holding on for but knowing it was important.  He tensed as he heard the footsteps come again, the jeering laughter and the sickening smells and above all the pain, which wrapped around him, allowing him to feel nothing but its liquid agony.  He tried to push it all away.  * He would hold on, he would hold on *...

*-*-*-*-*

Punja was true to his word.  In the morning Qui-Gon and Mace set off in a worn-out looking SoruSuub V-35 speeder, heading west.  The speeder might have looked in poor condition but it had clearly had a few modifications, the engine especially, and they were soon speeding across the dusty terrain.  It took them all day to reach the outskirts of Benin and by the time they arrived they were tired and thirsty for the heat from the sun had been unrelenting and the dust their speeder kicked up had made both cough almost incessantly.

They headed towards the hotel Punja had recommended, or rather had said was 'less bad than the rest', eyeing their surroundings with caution and distaste.  The streets were filthy, rubbish was strewn everywhere as well as rubble from the various dilapidated dwellings that they passed.  

The people were mostly Gagh, although the Jedi also spotted Humans, Sullustans, a couple of Twi-Lek and so on.  They wore dark clothing and most had hoods, they passed swiftly and silently, with their heads down, avoiding eye-contact.  The two Jedi could hear no sounds of laughter, few sounds at all save a few screams here and there, which were ignored.  Clearly this was a place where your business was considered your own, everyone looked out for themselves, first and last.

They arrived at their destination: a run-down two-story building with a green flashing hotel sign hanging near the door.  Punja had been right, it did look marginally better than the rest of the town.  They entered and paid for a room, credits up front, naturally.  The two Jedi went immediately to their room and rested for several hours until the sun had gone down.

Once night had fallen the two Jedi stole out of their room.  Like the inhabitants of Benin, their dark cloaks covered their heads and faces, they took the speeder and travelled several clicks north until they found signs of inhabitation.  They quickly killed the power on the speeder and concealed it as best they could in the sparse brush near a grove of trees.

From here they moved carefully.  Fortunately the planet's three moons provided enough light to see by but they knew that in return they could be seem.  The complex loomed in front of them in the gloom looking dark and forbidding.  The pair efficiently scouted round the security wall, memorising all the security features that they could see and hunting for any potential weaknesses.  Several hours went by and they had to hurry to return to Benin before dawn.

*-*-*-*-*

The only thing he could feel was pain, it sang through his veins, it whispered to his raw cheek, as he lay slumped on the floor.  It called to him, telling him to embrace it, to reach out with his fear and anger and embrace pain…  But he resisted, his mind dancing away from the agony, concentrating on one sentence, although he had long forgotten the meaning * _Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on…_*

*-*-*-*-*

"It's our best chance", Qui-Gon said with a frown, as he stared at the map of the military base that they had constructed together.

"It's our only chance, you mean", Mace replied.  "Still it looks fairly possible.  We're lucky these Gagh never believed anyone would attack them here.  We jump the wall here", he pointed at their sketch, "run to the cover of this building, then enter through this door.  We should have enough time to be in before the guards complete their paths".

"Agreed", Qui-Gon said, fear and hope warring in his heart.  He stared at the sketch a moment more and then said, "Come, we need to rest.  We'll leave an hour after sunset".

The two Jedi bedded down and prepared to wait out the sun.

*-*-*-*-*

Obi-Wan felt utterly detached from his physical body, even the pain had receded.  He felt himself almost floating away, something called to him, offering him comfort, but he felt himself slipping and pushed it away.  He had to hold on, but he was so tired…

*-*-*-*-*

That night at the prescribed time Qui-Gon and Mace again stole out of their lodgings.  They made good time and were soon staring at the base once more.  Their plan met with success, they were over the wall, crouching by the side of a door in the breadth of a second.  Mace quickly pulled a tool out of his pack to disable the door control and soon the Jedi were inside.  They stole down dark corridors with the utmost care, watching for signs of life.

Soon they came to a lit area and what seemed to be a Mess Hall, although at this hour it had only a few occupants, a group of Gagh soldiers playing cards and drinking.  Concealing themselves Qui-Gon and Mace listened to their conversation.  After a few minutes two more soldiers stumbled into the room, drunk and in good humour.  

One of the other Gagh called out to them, "How's the little Jedi this evening, is he dead yet?"

"He soon will be", one of the newcomers slurred.  "He ain't no fun when he's just lying on the floor".

This elicited laughter from the rest of the group and the two Jedi stiffened with a mixture of horror and hope.  It seems they had found the right place, but after all this were they too late?

The two Jedi moved silently away and went to search for a cellblock.  "We must concentrate on rescuing Obi-Wan," Mace warned Qui-Gon.  "We cannot take retribution for their actions, no matter how much they deserve it, not if we want to get all three of us out of here alive."

Qui-Gon nodded, he seemed calmer, more certain now despite his anger, now that he knew his Padawan was here, "I know, Mace.  But these people will pay, maybe not here and not now, but they will".

Mace merely nodded, Qui-Gon was still angry and wanted revenge but it was set aside in his focus on Obi-Wan.  They began to search in the direction from which the two Gagh had come and soon found stairs leading downwards.    

They began to search the lower levels of the building and there they found a series of cells.  They quickly despatched the two guards on duty, neither soldier having a chance to cry out as the lightsabres flashed.  Mace checked the computer, beside the guard's station.  "Cell 17," he said quietly.  

Within minutes they had found the cell and broken down the door.  What they found stopped them in their tracks.  The small, huddled, form in the corner of the room looked nothing like Qui-Gon's Padawan.  The form was covered in blood and filth and on first appearances appeared dead.  Qui-Gon rushed to his apprentice's side, horrified by what he saw.  

His Padawan was barely breathing and his pulse was very weak.  Qui-Gon wrapped the boy in his cloak, tears in his eyes as he lifted his Padawan.  Mace said nothing, the horror clear on his face, and silently he led the way back outside.  The met only one more soldier, who Mace took care of, and they were soon speeding back towards Benin.

Back in their dismal lodgings, they used all the medical supplies they carried to begin to treat Obi-Wan's injuries.  He had been starved and beaten savagely but there were fortunately no wounds that would cause immediate problems.  It was clear that they had arrived just in time.

They returned to Rekick as soon as dawn broke and by the evening were back on their transport, heading back to Coruscant.  They had placed Obi-Wan gently in the small medical bay and done all they could to make him comfortable.  Mace had left Qui-Gon there finally, when he showed no signs of moving from the still form of his apprentice.  Qui-Gon sat in silence, his hand on his Padawan's, hoping to provide some comfort.  * I'm so sorry, Obi-wan * his mind said to the still form of his apprentice * This should never have happened.  But you're safe now, so rest.  You're safe… *

*-*-*-*-*

Qui-Gon sat outside the healers' inner sanctum at the Temple, outwardly appearing calm but inside his feelings surged like a maelstrom.  During the return trip to Coruscant Obi-Wan had not regained consciousness and, in return, Qui-Gon had not slept as he remained at his Padawan's side.  Although he and Mace had cleaned and treated Obi-Wan's body they had not dared to remove the device the Gagh had implanted in him.  

Now the healers had taken his Padawan.  He did not know how long he had sat there but he was not moving unless it was to see his apprentice.  As he sat Qui-Gon tried to study his feelings, the emotions that were battling within him.  After Xanatos he had not wanted another apprentice, had rejected Obi-Wan, but the boy had managed to worm his way past his shields, had come to feel more like a son than an apprentice.

Finally a voice broke through his thoughts, "Master Qui-Gon?"  He looked up blankly at the woman standing before him.  "Master Qui-Gon," she repeated and then, apparently satisfied that she had his attention, she continued.  "My name is Calne'rel.  We have finished treating Padawan Kenobi's injuries but…"

"I can see him now?"  Qui-Gon interrupted brusquely.

"Soon, there are some things you need to understand first.  Although your Padawan has regained consciousness we haven't as yet removed the device implanted in him.  He is totally unresponsive, and although we have healed his physical injuries, it is the psychological effects of what has happened to him we are concerned about and those at the moment we cannot help him with.  We cannot remove the implant until his mental health is assured but we cannot help him until the device is removed."  Her words were spoken gently but Qui-Gon's spirits dropped even further as the words sank in.  

"Can I see him now?" his words were a broken whisper.

"Of course", she hesitated and then continued, "if you'd come this way."

*-*-*-*-*

Obi-Wan was lying motionless on the bed Qui-Gon was led to.  Although Obi-Wan was very thin it was not his physical appearance that concerned Qui-Gon.  As he lent over his Padawan he looked at his eyes.  They were open, but appeared unfocused and, worst of all, the spark of life in them was gone.  He swallowed his fear and sat next to him, hoping against hope that his presence would reach Obi-Wan.

Outside the room where Qui-Gon sat with Obi-Wan, Mace Windu and Yoda had arrived.  Although both seemed calm they were concerned for the pair.  Mace Windu turned towards the healer who had informed them of Obi-Wan's condition.  "What do you suggest now?"

The healer shook his head and shrugged slightly and said with great sadness, "We are uncertain.  We can do nothing more for the boy at the moment.  Until we can get through to him, we can do nothing more.  We believe it would be best to turn him over to Qui-Gon.  If he cannot reach his Padawan we certainly cannot."

"Much danger in this path there is," Master Yoda said slowly.  "Much anger and fear there is and will be."

"There are no other options", Mace Windu pointed out.  "Qui-Gon will reach him, I'm sure of it"

Then they stood in a silence that was mirrored inside the room where Qui-Gon sat as he willed the silent form of his apprentice to respond.

*-*-*-*-*

tbc

well, what did you think?  Please let me know, all feedback, especially constructive crit is much appreciated.  Part three will be along soon!

Reviewer responses

Michelle:  thank you for your reviews!!  I'm glad you liked the first part, hope you like this part too.

Kenobisaqt:  glad you like the story so far, hope you like this part too!


	3. Part III: Restoring

Sorry for the delay, jeep broke down so got to spend a few days longer away from civilisation than planned!

for disclaimers see part one

Part Three: Restoring 

So it was that two days later Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan were on their way to Altara.  Qui-Gon had suggested this planet once he had been informed of the healers' opinion.  Altara was a sparsely populated planet and the Jedi had a retreat there used for training purposes.  The pair would be able to remain there for as long as was necessary.  

The healers had told him not to remove the device that held Obi-Wan away from the Force until he was sure that Obi-Wan understood where he was and what had happened.  He has also been told that the process could take a very long time.  * Or not at all * Qui-Gon thought grimly.  Obi-Wan had recovered enough to be able to walk but he did not do anything for himself.  If Qui-Gon led him he would follow, but he never initiated anything himself and seemed unaware of his surroundings.   

A week passed on Altara without any sign of change in Obi-Wan.  Although they had been to Altara only once before Qui-Gon knew how much Obi-Wan had enjoyed the place and he had hoped their return might have provoked a reaction in his Padawan.  During this week they had begun to settle into a routine.  After forcing Obi-Wan to eat some food, Qui-Gon would lead him down to the lake and they would spend the day outside, returning to the cabin only to eat and sleep.  

At first Qui-Gon had tried to keep talking to Obi-Wan but as the days wore on he too had become silent.  Now he noticed they had sat by the lake until it was very late and they ought to return to the cabin.  He stood up and stretched slowly and then reached back down to pull Obi-Wan to his feet.  

He was shocked when he felt resistance from his Padawan, who gaze remained fixed on the lake in front of them.  Slowly Qui-Gon sat back down next to his apprentice.  They continued sitting for hours into the night, until at last Obi-Wan fell asleep.  Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan close to him and wrapped them both in his cloak, his heart soaring with hope once more.  It was a small start but it was a beginning.  

*-*-*-*-*

Obi Wan was in pain.  He could hear the guards, they were coming for him again, and they were going to….  His mind turned away, hiding from the pain, fear and anger that enveloped him.  Then he had caught a glimpse of something else and for a moment he had been sure he was no longer in the cell, he was by the lake at….  

His mind protested at that telling him that he had always been in this cell and he would never leave the pain and the image fled from him.  Yet another part of him argued that what he had seen had been real.  He tried to piece together his thoughts but everything seemed so vague and distant.  He could sense nothing and even his thoughts were fleeting.

He slowly drifted off to sleep, waiting for the guards to return.  When he woke up he was sure he was dreaming still.  He realised that he felt cold, yet also safe, a feeling he had almost forgotten.  He tried to sit up, to see where he had been taken but he could barely move.  

His mind began to panic but a voice in himself made him calm down.  He was not trapped merely tangled in a blanket.  He slowly untangled himself, his muscles weak from lack of use.  He could see he was outside next to a lake.  Somehow he thought he recognised this place but he brushed that impossible thought away.  

As he disengaged himself from the blanket he noticed the man sleeping next to him.  He saw no one else around and fear enveloped him as he wondered why the guards had brought him here and what this man would do to him.  At that thought he took one more look around, searching for some hidden trick or trap and then ran.  

Even as his mind screamed that the guards would only capture and punish him something deep inside him forced him on.  He hoped he could get far enough away that the guards would not find him.  He would find a place where he was safe.  He did not know how he had escaped, but he had.  He had won and would escape and find his way home.

*-*-*-*-*

Qui-Gon eventually woke up.  The days of looking after and worrying about his Padawan had left him more exhausted than he had realised and the relief of seeing Obi-Wan's reaction last night had caused him to oversleep.  At the thought of his apprentice Qui-Gon sat up quickly.  Obi-Wan was nowhere in sight.  At first Qui-Gon rejoiced.  Again Obi-Wan had shown independence of thought and thus signs of recovery from the trauma he had suffered.  

He must have returned to the cabin for food.  Qui-Gon got up and walked to their cabin but when he arrived he could not find his Padawan.  Soon he had searched everywhere he could think of and had grown hoarse from calling his Padawan's name.  But Obi-Wan was nowhere to be found.

*-*-*-*-*

Finally Obi-Wan stopped moving.  He did not know how long he had been travelling, but now he was hungry and so tired.  His body was very weak and although he had forced his trembling muscles to carry him for some time, he felt that he could go no further.  He could see the sky getting dark and overcast and he shivered as the wind suddenly sent a blast of cold air across his body.  He had to find shelter soon.  He felt drawn in one direction and began to follow his senses, still keeping a lookout for any sign of the guards, still not believing that he could have escaped.  

He halted as he stared at the cave opening, which had appeared in the hill he was climbing.  Somehow it appeared familiar, he was wary of this feeling but another blast from the cold wind convinced him that this cave would suffice.  He settled into a corner of the cave and drifted into an uneasy sleep, images from his memory teasing at his mind.

*-*-*-*-*

After an hour of searching Qui-Gon was forced to give up.  His Padawan might be injured and confused but he still retained the many years of lessons in how to move in the wilderness without leaving a trace.  He finally headed back to the cabin to contact the healers on Coruscant, hoping to find some explanation for his Padawan's behaviour before he set out searching again.  Within minutes he had explained the situation, forcing the concern out of his voice to give a calm report.  

The healers quickly discussed the events and the turned back to Qui-Gon.  Calne'rel spoke first, "It would appear that his mind has returned to a conscious state.  This is a good sign.  It could be that the trauma of the last few weeks has affected his memory, it is possible that he could be trying to find somewhere he feels safe.  Is there anywhere you went on your first journey to Altara that you have not searched?"

Qui-Gon thought quickly, "Only the cave we spent the night in once, during a storm, I'll check there next".

"Be careful, when you find him, " another of the healers warned.  "He is very unstable at the moment."

"Of course.  I will update you when I have found him."  Qui-Gon finished, eager to be off.

"May the Force be with you", the healers replied as one broke the connection.

Quickly Qui-Gon gathered some blankets, food and a medical kit.  The cave he had mentioned to the healers was a long way from the cabin and it would take him until gone nightfall to reach it.  He hoped that Obi-Wan had gone there, that he would realise he was safe, that he was free.

*-*-*-*-*

Obi-Wan woke up suddenly.  He felt even colder than before and shivered miserably, then groaned as his muscles protested at even that minor action.  A loud crash of thunder rang out and he jumped violently, pressing back against the rock, his heart racing in sudden terror.  He tried to calm down and slowly he crept to the front of the cave as the crash echoed around.  As he watched a lighting fork flashed across the sky followed almost immediately by another rumble of thunder.  

Obi-Wan stared at the sky and then held his head as images surged through his mind.  He saw himself and the man he had run from, saw them here sheltering in this cave, saw them together side by side.  He cried out hoarsely as his memories came flooding back.  Obi-Wan curled himself back in his corner and cried brokenly as he felt the memories wash through him, remembered all that he was, all that he had been.  

He had betrayed all that he was, he thought in despair, his anger and fear showed that he could never be a Jedi, and he rocked at the shame he felt at running from his Master.  He lay on the cold floor of the cave, not caring if he ever saw daylight again.

*-*-*-*-*

Qui-Gon increased his pace as the thunder crashed again.  He was only a short distance from the cave now but the storm was close to breaking.  He remembered the last time they had been on Altara.  He and Obi-Wan had been planning on camping but when the storm had come they had had to find shelter.  It was Obi-Wan who had found the cave where he was headed now.  

Qui-Gon prayed that this was where his Padawan was.  He would need shelter from this storm.  Just as the first rain began to patter down he found the cave entrance.  Setting up his lamp quickly he scanned the cave.  At first his hopes sank as he thought it was empty but then he saw a small bundle in the corner, nearly completely hidden from sight.  He quickly went over to his apprentice.  

At first Obi-Wan tried to curl up into a tighter ball when he felt the touch on his shoulder but he was so exhausted he was barely able to resist and felt himself being gently turned over.  

"Obi-Wan?"  Qui-Gon questioned gently, swallowing as he saw the new cuts and bruises Obi-Wan had collected during his flight.  Yet his eyes seemed to contain the spark of life that had been missing from them in the past week.  

Obi-Wan stared back at Qui-Gon.  He had never felt so unworthy of this man, yet he forced himself to reply, "Master?"

At that reply Qui-Gon hugged the young man close to him, relief choking him beyond words.  He stroked his Padawan's head, the spiky hair only just beginning to re-grow, the braid Obi-Wan had earned the right to have missing.  

Then Obi-Wan spoke again, his voice cracked and broken with emotion, "I'm so sorry, Master.  I've failed you, I've failed you…."  His words trailed off as tears started to flow silently down his pale face.  

Qui-Gon looked in amazement at his apprentice.  No matter how much pain he was in, Qui-Gon had never seen Obi-Wan cry before and his pained words shook Qui-Gon to the core.  "Padawan, look at me", he replied gently, yet firmly.  Once Obi-Wan had reluctantly raised his eyes he continued.  "Obi-Wan, you have not failed me.  What has happened is not your fault, do you understand me?"

Obi-Wan dropped his eyes again, unable to believe his Master's words.  

Sighing Qui-Gon reached for the medical pack.  If he removed the implant he could convince Obi-Wan that his words were true and he could help his apprentice heal from this trauma.  Yet this path was also dangerous.  Qui-Gon was not a trained healer and he knew that if he linked their minds too deeply there could be serious consequences.  

He found the equipment he needed and then turned back to his Padawan.  "Obi-Wan, I'm going to remove the device behind your ear.  Do you understand me?"

The only reply he received was a slight nod, but Obi-Wan did not resist as Qui-Gon gently moved him until he was sitting in front of him.  The device was not difficult to remove, if one had the right equipment, and it only took Qui-Gon a few minutes before the device was resting in his hands.  

Obi-Wan shuddered as he felt the Force returning to him, the emotions he had experienced in the past weeks made him feel so unclean that he dared not reach out to touch the Force, which had always comforted him.  Qui-Gon sighed in relief, as he felt Obi-Wan's essence return to its place in the Force.  The trauma had left Obi-Wan without shields and Qui-Gon shuddered slightly at the images Obi-Wan was broadcasting.  

Reaching out gently through the Force Qui-Gon sent a small tendril towards his apprentice.  //Obi-Wan, can you hear me?//  He sent waves of reassurance and his caring for his Padawan through this tenuous link.

Obi-Wan gasped slightly and then reached out blindly towards Qui-Gon, needing physical, as well as mental reassurance.  Soon Qui-Gon had settled him in his arms and then gently sent //Show me what happened to you, Padawan //

At first Obi-Wan refused, unwilling to share the shame of what had happened to him, but his Master continued to send him reassurance and slowly Obi-Wan began showing Qui-Gon what had happened to him, holding nothing back but unable to put anything into words.  Qui-Gon grimaced at the images and feelings he saw, and had to fight down the anger he felt at the men who had done this.  They would pay, he promised himself, even as he continued to listen to the horrific story.

Once Obi-Wan had finished Qui-Gon held simply held him and then gently showed him what he had done, during the time they had been apart.  He allowed Obi-Wan to feel the anxiety Qui-Gon had felt, how frantic he had felt when they could not find Obi-Wan, the anger he had felt at the Gagh when they did, whilst constantly reconfirming his pride and affection for his Padawan.

Finally, Qui-Gon reduced their link, convinced that his Padawan was on the way to being healed.  He wrapped his cloak around the frail body and then covered them both in blankets.  Obi-Wan allowed himself to be covered and huddled close to his Master, his joy in the knowledge that he had not failed his Master making him almost ready to forget the past few weeks.  

*-*-*-*-*

The next morning Qui-Gon was the first to wake up.  He looked down at his Padawan, whose head was resting against his chest.  As if he sensed he was being watched Obi-Wan chose to wake up, arching his body to stretch his cold muscles.  Qui-Gon smiled gently down at him, confirming his affection for his Padawan, before the question was even asked.  It would take some time, but things were going to be alright.

**The End**

Love?  Hate?  Please give me a review and tell me, any constructive crit is most appreciated.

**Reviewer responses**

**Kenobisaqt** – thanks for reviewing both chapters, hope you liked this one!

**Snow-Glory** - thanks for the review, hope the update was quick enough for you!


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